NEWSRADIO #102 "Inappropriate" Written by Paul Simms Directed by James Burrows SHOOTING DRAFT February 17, 1995 CAST Dave . . . Dave Foley Jimmy . . . Stephen Root Lisa . . . Maura Tierney Matthew . . . Andy Dick Beth . . . Vicki Lewis Catherine . . . Khandi Alexander Joe . . . Joe Rogan and Bill . . . Phil Hartman ACT ONE SCENE A INT. BROADCAST BOOTH/BULLPEN - LATE AFTERNOON (Matthew, Bill, Beth, Dave, Lisa, Joe, Jimmy) Matthew is on the air. MATTHEW: ...and Amy Fisher, the so-called "Long Island Lolita" who was also implicated in the case, is now studying interior design at a local community college. And that's "Where They Are Now" for this Tuesday. Matthew Brock, WNYX Newsradio. Bill? Bill is staring at Matthew, dumbfounded. MATTHEW (CONT'D): Bill? BILL: Thank you, Matthew, for that... unusual report. WNYX Newstime -- 5:45 p.m. Minor delays on the L.I.E... INT. BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS Matthew exits the booth. Dave and Beth are staring at him. MATTHEW: What's up, you guys? BETH: Matthew, I think you mispronounced that guy's name a few times. MATTHEW: Did I? It's Joey Buttaf- DAVE: No, Matthew, it's not. It's "Buttafuoco." "Buttafuoco." MATTHEW: What did I say? DAVE: Matthew, of all the various ways to mispronounce the name "Buttafuoco," you stumbled onto the worst possible one. MATTHEW: What do you mean? DAVE: Think about it. Matthew paces around, pronouncing the name to himself silently. Lisa enters from the elevators and takes off her coat. LISA: Good job, Matthew. My cab driver really got a kick out of that. DAVE: I'm on it, Lisa. MATTHEW: (FINALLY REALIZING) Oh my god... DAVE: Uh-huh. MATTHEW: Oh my God. DAVE: Uh-huh. MATTHEW: Oh my God. LISA: Alright, here's what we should do. We'll air a short correction and formal apology to Mr. (POINTEDLY TO MATTHEW) Buttafuoco... MATTHEW: Oh my God. DAVE: Bad idea. All that'll do is call attention to it. Joe enters and walks up to Matthew. He stares at Matthew. MATTHEW: Hi Joe. JOE: Hi sleazeball. You know, my mom listens to this station. MATTHEW: Oh God, Joe-I'm sorry. JOE: Don't apologize to me. I'm not the one who's gonna fire you. MATTHEW: Do you really think I'm gonna get fired? Jimmy enters. JIMMY: So who called first? The FCC or Mr. (POINTEDLY, TO MATTHEW) Buttafuoco's lawyers? LISA: Mr. James, we're going to air a short correction and a formal apology. DAVE: No, we're not. LISA: Yes, we are. JIMMY: Which one of you did I hire as news director? LISA: Sorry, Mr. James. JIMMY: No, I'm really asking. I lose track of these things sometimes. DAVE: That would be me. JIMMY: Good. Then you figure out what to do. Matthew crosses to Dave. MATTHEW: Dave, please don't fire me. JIMMY: But be sure to take Lisa's input. Matthew crosses to Lisa. MATTHEW: Lisa, please tell Dave not to fire me. JIMMY: Matthew... MATTHEW: Mr. James, please don't fire me. JIMMY: Relax, Matthew. MATTHEW: I'm not going to get fired? JIMMY: I didn't say that. I just said relax. You're driving me nuts. JOE: You're just lucky my mother doesn't run this station. CUT TO: ACT ONE SCENE B INT. BULLPEN/BROADCAST BOOTH - EARLY EVENING (Lisa, Dave, Beth, Matthew, Bill, Catherine) It's the end of the day. Matthew and Beth are getting ready to go home. Dave and Lisa enter from Dave's office in mid-conversation. LISA: Look, if you don't want my input then just say so... DAVE: I just don't want a lecture on the legal rights of a known sleazebag. LISA: Fine. But what if Mr. Buttafuoco sues us? DAVE: For what? Defamation of character? He doesn't need our help with that. LISA: That's completely beside the point. DAVE: Look, I'm going to dinner. If you want to come along, and harangue me while I eat, fine. LISA: Fine. BETH: (SLY) Dinner for two. I wonder what's for dessert? LISA: Shut up, Beth. DAVE: Beth, that kind of insinuation is really inappropriate. BETH: Sorry. But how can I ignore the obvious? You two get along so beautifully... DAVE: I'm getting my coat. LISA: Hurry up. DAVE: Settle down. Dave exits into his office. INT. BROADCAST BOOTH - CONTINUOUS BILL: (ON AIR) And now we turn you over to network news. This is Bill McIntyre... CATHERINE: (ON AIR) And Catherine Scott... BILL: (ON AIR) For WNYX Newsradio. (OFF AIR) Great work today, Cathy. Can I give you a ride home? CATHERINE: Bill, you've been offering me a ride home every day for four years. And what do I always say? BILL: No? CATHERINE: But thanks for asking. And my name is Catherine. If you call me Cathy one more time I will never speak to you again. BILL: Fair enough, Cathy...erine. Bill and Catherine exit the broadcast booth and cross to get their coats. Dave comes out of his office putting on his coat. DAVE: (TO LISA) All I ask is that you stop arguing with me until I get some food in my stomach. LISA: Fine. Let's go to that sushi place across the street. DAVE: I'm not eating sushi. LISA: Oh, I see. I don't even get input about where we eat dinner. DISSOLVE TO: ACT ONE SCENE C INT. BULLPEN/DAVE'S OFFICE/BULLPEN/PRODUCTION BOOTH - THE NEXT MORNING (Beth, Dave, Catherine, Joe, Bill, Lisa, Matthew, Jimmy) Dave enters from the foyer with his briefcase and jacket. BETH: Morning, boss. DAVE: Beth? You really don't have to calle me "boss." BETH: I know. I just do it sarcastically because it amuses me. Coffee, boss? DAVE: Yes, please. BETH: How was your dinner with Lisa? DAVE: Fine. Catherine exits the booth. CATHERINE: (RE: BILL) He's doing it again. Tell him to stop. DAVE: Doing what? CATHERINE: He just sits there and stares at me all day long. DAVE: Catherine, as I've told you before, that's where he sits and that's where you sit and there's not much I can do about it. JOE: You guys could switch seats. Dave and Catherine look at Joe as he walks away. CATHERINE: I just can't take it anymore. They look at the booth. Bill is smiling at Catherine and waving at her to come back in. Catherine walks away. Dave turns and looks at Bill in the broadcast booth. Bill shrugs as if to say "What-did-I-do?" to Dave, without a pause in the news he's reading. BILL: (ON AIR) On Wall Street, the Dow is showing signs of recovering from yesterday's nine point fall. After just over an hour of trading leading indicators are up three and a half points. BETH: So... you were telling me about your dinner with Lisa. DAVE: There's nothing to tell, Beth. We argued, we ate, we argued some more. Bill passes by. BILL: Is that Cathy out in the hall? DAVE: Let her go, Bill. She's in a bit of a mood today. BILL: Don't worry. I know how to sweet talk her. DAVE: Bill, I would really rather... Good morning, Lisa. Lisa fixes herself a cup of coffee. Throughout the following, Dave and Lisa completely avoid all eye contact. They are very awkward. LISA: Good morning, Dave. BILL: (WANDERING TOWARDS HALL) Cathy? Yoo-hoo! DAVE: Half and half? LISA: No, thanks. I'm sorry, did you-- DAVE: I thought you were-- LISA: Yes, please. DAVE: Reaching for it. LISA: The sugar? DAVE: No, the half and-- LISA: You know what? I'll come back later. Have a good-- DAVE: You too. LISA: --day okay bye. Lisa walks away. Dave crosses to his office, enters and closes the door. INT. DAVE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Dave closes the door and crosses to his desk. Beth opens the door and enters. She looks at Dave for a long beat. He shuffles some papers around, trying to ignore her. Finally he looks up. BETH: What was that? DAVE: What was what? BETH: That incredibly awkward little moment with Lisa at the coffee machine. DAVE: I don't know what you're talking about. BETH: You might as well tell me the whole story. Or would you rather have me hear it from Lisa first? DAVE: Hear what from Lisa? BETH: Dave. You do know that I can tell when you're lying. There's a thing you do. DAVE: (AMUSED) Oh really? And what is this thing I do when I lie? BETH: Oh, like I'm going to tell you so you can stop doing it. (FIRMLY) So... what happened between you and Lisa last night? DAVE: (SMOOTHING HIS TIE) Nothing happened. (CATCHES HIMSELF) This is the thing, isn't it? BETH: Bingo. So... you and Lisa, did it, didn't you? DAVE: No, we didn't "do it." We just... we made out... a little bit... for a little while. BETH: Oh my god! I knew it! DAVE: How? Did Lisa tell you? BETH: (PLEASED) No, Lisa didn't tell me anything. (TROUBLED) I can't believe Lisa didn't tell me anything. DAVE: Beth, you absolutely cannot tell anyone about this, because-- Matthew enters. DAVE (CONT'D): ... if we move the sports update to fifteen and-- MATTHEW: (ENUNCIATING) But-ta-fuo-co DAVE: --thank you, Matthew-- forty-five after the hour to implement further changes in the-- Matthew exits. DAVE (CONT'D): You can't tell anyone about this. BETH: Don't worry. DAVE: Not even Lisa. BETH: Especially not Lisa. Why would I tell Lisa? Lisa doesn't seem to tell me anything anymore even... Joe enters. BETH (CONT'D): --though we've seen a slight upswing in the drivetime ratings due to-- JOE: New light bulbs. BETH: -- thanks, Joe -- increased coverage of outer-borough-oriented events and-- Joe exits. BETH (CONT'D): --how dare she hold out on me like this? DAVE: Regardless, I'm going to end it before it goes any further. BETH: Why? Was it... you know... not-so-good? It wasn't gross, was it? DAVE: No. In fact, it was very nice. But completely inappropriate and unprofessional. I've never done anything like this before-- BETH: You've never made out before? DAVE: No -- I mean with a co-worker. Anyway, can you ask Lisa to come in here? Beth exits. BETH: Lisa? Lisa enters immediately. DAVE: That was fast. LISA: I was actually on my way to see you. Lisa and Dave look at each other a little awkwardly. DAVE: Good, good. So... LISA: Hi. DAVE: Hi. LISA: Pretty weird night last night, huh? DAVE: Yeah. But nice. You know... LISA: Oh yeah, it was nice... and weird. DAVE: (SUDDENLY) Lisa, I have never done anything like that before. LISA: Me neither. DAVE: I mean, I've made out before-- LISA: As have I. DAVE: But never with someone I work with. LISA: Me neither. I have a rule about that. DAVE: Me too. Bill enters. BILL: Guys? I'm throwing a little surprise birthday party for Catherine out here from 12:46 to 12:48. That would give you one minute and twenty seconds to prepare if you'd like to join us. DAVE: I'll check my calendar. BILL: Great. Look forward to seeing you. Bill exits. DAVE: Anyway, what happened last night was completely inappropriate and--. LISA: Completely unprofessional. DAVE: Right. Good. I was worried we wouldn't be on the same wavelength about this. LISA: Phew. Me too. DAVE: So we're agreed. We simply cannot-- Next two lines are nearly in unison, though Dave's is second... LISA: Let anyone find out about this. DAVE: Keep doing this. Lisa kisses Dave. After a moment, she realizes what he just said. LISA: I'm sorry. What did you just say? DAVE: That we can't do this anymore. I thought that's what you were thinking. LISA: Oh, it is. It is. Of course. DAVE: Then what was... (GESTURES RE: KISS) that? LISA: That was... a joke. Get it? I have to go. She turns and exits. Dave follows her to... INT. BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS Bill is setting up for the birthday party at the conference table. Jimmy is waiting excitedly. JIMMY: Boy, do I love an office birthday party. Cake, conversation, conviviality -- and it's all tax-deductible. BILL: Good, you guys are here. Thirty-five seconds till partytime. DAVE: Lisa? Could I see you in my office? LISA: I'm a little busy right now. BILL: (LIGHTING CANDLES) Come on, everyone -- we're going to have to do this quick. Cathy's off in ten seconds, and then we have the sports report and the Dial-A-Mattress spot, which gives us two minutes exactly. DAVE: Dial-A-Mattress pulled their ads. JIMMY: Oh, damn. Why? DAVE: Because of the Buttafuoco incident. MATTHEW: Oh God... BILL: (RUSHED) Okay, then we only have a minute thirty. Joe, help me with the candles. JOE: I thought you'd never ask, Bill. Joe clicks on a butane jet and lights all the candles at once. Dave is edging closer to Lisa. Lisa keeps edging away. DAVE: (SOTTO) I'm sorry. LISA: (SOTTO) Me too. DAVE: (SOTTO) I need to talk to you. LISA: (SOTTO) Too bad. BETH: (TO LISA) So what have you been up to lately? LiSA: Nothing. BETH: Nothing at all? Oh. Interesting. Jimmy takes a drink of the punch. JIMMY: Whew, that's got a kick to it! This won't make me go blind, will it? MATTHEW: Uh, Mr. James? JIMMY: Present. MATTHEW: Butt-Ah-Foo-Koh. JIMMY: (RAISING GLASS) Buttafuoco to you too, Matthew. Jimmy downs his glass. JIMMY (CONT'D): And if you'd said it that way on the air, we'd still have Dial-A-Mattress, one of our most valuable sponsors. MATTHEW: Oh God... DAVE: (SOTTO) Lisa, this is really unprofessional. LISA: (SOTTO) You would know. BILL: Alright everyone. Get ready, get ready... Catherine exits the booth. BILL (CONT'D): And here comes the birthday girl herself! Catherine walks right past the conference table and exits into the foyer. JOE: And there she goes. BILL: She's probably just embarrassed. Hey, let's sing "Happy Birthday" to her, gang... JIMMY: I think the woman's taking a powder, Bill. Bill stars exiting towards the foyer, carrying the cake. Lisa exits into the Production Booth. Dave saunters over casually, then rushes into the booth also. BILL: I know. Sing loud so she can hear you all the way in the bathroom. JOE: Bill, you're back on in fifteen seconds. BILL: Okay, sing fast also. (RUSHING) One, two, three... HAPPY BIRTHDAY... Bill is gone. BETH: (SINGING) TO YOU, HAPPY... Beth realizes she's the only one signing, trails off. Everyone wanders away. JIMMY: Well, I don't suppose there's going to be any dancing, is there... INT. PRODUCTION BOOTH - CONTINUOUS Dave and Lisa are arguing. DAVE: Look, I'm sorry. LISA: And I'm really sorry, believe me... DAVE: This kind of bickering is the exact thing I wanted to avoid. This is why office relationships just don't work. LISA: (SOFTENING) I know. I just... I got upset. It won't happen again. DAVE: Good. And what happened last night can't happen again either. LISA: I agree. DAVE: Good. LISA: Good. Dave kisses Lisa. ACT TWO SCENE D INT. ELEVATOR FOYER - THE NEXT MORNING (Beth, Dave, Lisa) Dave gets off the elevator with his briefcase. Beth is waiting for him. BETH: So... DAVE: So what? BETH: Is she still mad at you? And please, don't even try to lie. I'd like to believe that you and I are beyond that now. DAVE: Okay. So... we were arguing at the birthday party... BETH: (SARCASTIC) Oh. I hadn't noticed. DAVE: Did anyone else notice? BETH: No. I covered for you. Mr. James wanted to know what was going on, but I told him you accused Lisa of stealing office supplies and she got really mad. DAVE: Why would you say that? BETH: I was improvising. Anyway, go on, go on... DAVE: So we went in the Production Booth, and we argued some more, then we settled it. (BEAT) Okay, and then we kissed again. BETH: It just gets worse and worse. DAVE: No, it's fine now. Because this time the kissing felt really... BETH: Gross? DAVE: No. Just... wrong. To both of us. And in a way it's too bad, but I guess it's probably for the best. Lisa rounds the corner from the bullpen, counting her change. She looks up and sees Dave and Beth. She obviously wants to turn back, but it's too late. LISA: Good morning, Dave. DAVE: Good morning, Lisa. LISA: Is there any-- DAVE: I think it's out of-- LISA: Yogurt? Or-- DAVE: There's lots of other-- LISA: Oh, I see it-- DAVE: Stuff in there have a good day okay bye. Dave pushes the elevator button. BETH: Dave? I think you were going that way. DAVE: Thank you, Beth. Dave exits into the bullpen. CUT TO: ACT TWO SCENE E INT. DAVE'S OFFICE - LATER (Dave, Beth, Lisa, Bill) Dave is at his desk. Beth enters. Dave shuffles some papers around on his desk, avoiding eye contact with Beth. Finally, he looks up. DAVE: How can I help you, Beth? BETH: What did I tell you about lying to me? DAVE: What are you talking about? BETH: (MEASURED) What happened between you and Lisa? Dave has his hands firmly planted on his desk and is staying completely still. DAVE: Just what I told you. BETH: Oh my God. You guys actually did it! Didn't you? DAVE: Shh! BETH: How did it happen? DAVE: I don't know! After work, we decided to go out for coffee to discuss this... situation. BETH: Right... DAVE: So we got to the coffee shop... BETH: Right... DAVE: (QUICKLY) And then we went to my place and did it. BETH: Well, that's not very romantic. DAVE: Actually it was. Because afterwards, we went for a nice long walk, I walked her back to her place... BETH: Right... DAVE: And then we did it again. BETH: What? DAVE: And then we realized she'd left her bag at my place, so we took a cab back uptown and-- BETH: Okay, okay. You know what I think it is? I think in a former life you two were... you know... some kind of animals that do it a lot. DAVE: Regardless. Last night was the end of it. BETH: Oh, right. What are you going to say today? "Okay, from now on we really, really, really, really, really shouldn't fool around anymore?" DAVE: Look. There was obviously an attraction there. And a certain curiosity. And now we've satisfied that curiosity, and we can put it behind us. Lisa enters. BETH: Hi Lisa. LISA: Hi. BETH: You're looking a little tired today, Lisa. Beth exits. LISA: Alright, let's just deal with this right now. DAVE: Good idea. LISA: That was very nice last night. DAVE: I couldn't agree more. LISA: But it has got to stop. DAVE: Completely. You're absolutely right. LISA: We've got to take specific measures to avoid ending up in any situation that might be conducive to... you know... doing it. DAVE: Well-put. LISA: Thank you. Alright, first -- no more going out for coffee. DAVE: Check. No sharing cab rides home after work. LISA: Got it. No walking home, or anywhere, after work. No taking the subway together. No-- DAVE: Did you write all these down. LISA: Yes. I was up till three in the morning. Is that stupid? DAVE: No, I got up at six to make my list. Bill enters. BILL: Hey, you two. They jump up. DAVE: What do you mean, hey us two? BILL: What do you mean, hey us two? BILL: Well, I could count again, but I think I'll get the same result. Anyway, I'm taking the entire staff out for lunch in honor of Catherine's birthday... yesterday. DAVE: Is Catherine going? BILL: No, but it's the thought that counts. Come on. LISA: Dave and I are pretty busy here, Bill. BILL: Okay. But if you finish up, we'll be downstairs at Chico's. DAVE: How many more do you have? LISA: Fifteen. You? DAVE: Thirteen. Bill, we really have to get through this. We'll try to join you guys later. BILL: Super. And if you do come, could you try to bring Catherine with you? DAVE: That's not going to happen, Bill. BILL: I know, but it's the thought that counts. (HEARING SOMETHING OUTSIDE DOOR) What? Okay. (TO DAVE AND LISA) Is Matthew getting fired? DAVE: No. BILL: (CALLING OUT DOOR) No decision yet, Matthew. Ciao. Bill exits. DAVE: Okay. No borrowing anything from the other person. LISA: Or any kind of exchange that would necessitate visiting the other's apartment. DAVE: You know what? Maybe we shouldn't be so negative about this. Why don't we make a list of a few "safe" activities. Things we could do as friends and co-workers, but wouldn't make use tempted to go any further. LISA: Good idea. They both think for a long beat. Dave starts to speak then stops. Another beat. DAVE: Okay, never mind. Have we sufficiently covered "No meals of any kind?" DISSOLVE TO: ACT TWO SCENE H INT. DAVE'S OFFICE - AN HOUR LATER (Dave, Beth, Lisa) Dave is at his desk. Lisa is sitting in a chair, on the phone. Beth enters. DAVE: How was lunch? BETH: Fine. Catherine actually showed up. But Matthew was convinced it was a surprise going-away party for him. You should really talk to him. DAVE: I will. We just had to get these promos nailed down. BETH: Right. The "promos." Here. I brought you a burrito. Sorry, Lisa... I didn't bring you anything because I have no idea what you want anymore. Dave gives Beth a dirty look. LISA: That's okay. (ON PHONE) No, that's fine. What time does the press conference start? As Lisa continues talking on the phone, Beth unwraps Dave's food. With her back to Lisa... BETH: (SOTTO) Everything okay? DAVE: (SOTTO) I think we've worked it out... Dave gestures for Beth to leave. Beth exits. As soon as she's gone, Lisa hangs up the phone. LISA: You think she noticed anything? DAVE: No. But you missed a button on your blouse. LISA: (BUTTONING) Thanks. You've got a little lipstick... no... other side... there. What are you doing? DAVE: Straightening up the couch cushions. LISA: Are my nylons in there? DAVE: (PULLING THEM OUT) Are these them? LISA: Those are the ones. Lisa stuffs them in her pocket and sits back down. Dave sits back down at his desk. A beat. LISA (CONT'D): What the hell are we doing? DAVE: I have no idea. This is just... ridiculous. LISA: I know. You do understand that I've never done anything like this before, don't you? DAVE: You mean dating a co-worker? LISA: No, I mean screwing in the office while everyone is out to lunch. DAVE: Well, where do we go from here? LISA: The news booth? DAVE: I'm serious. LISA: I say we flip a coin and the loser quits the job and moves out of the city. Dave: You know what? I give up. It's pointless to keep fighting this... this... whatever-the-hell-this-is. LISA: You're right. It's bigger than the both of us. Let's just-- DAVE: Be as professional-- LISA: And discreet-- DAVE: And completely discreet as we can about it and-- LISA: See where it-- DAVE: Ends-- LISA: Up. Right. Dave and Lisa step into the corner away from the window and kiss. LISA (CONT'D): And no more kissing in the office. DAVE: Oh, of course. This is definitely the last time. CUT TO: ACT TWO SCENE J INT. BULLPEN/ELEVATOR FOYER - MOMENTS LATER (Matthew, Dave, Lisa, Beth, Catherine, Bill) Lisa and Dave exit Dave's office. Matthew is waiting outside. MATTHEW: I can't take it anymore. Just tell me I'm fired. DAVE: You're not getting fired. MATTHEW: (BRIGHTLY) Oh, okay, thanks. Matthew walks away. Dave and Lisa's following conversation is obviously for the benefit of anyone who may overhear... DAVE: Lisa, have you had lunch yet? LISA: No, I haven't. DAVE: Well, I'm going to get some lunch. Would you like to come with me and discuss the Buttafuoco slip-up? LISA: You mean the apology and correction that we're going to do? Sure. They start walking towards the foyer. Beth enters from Dave's office. BETH: Dave? Dave crosses back to Beth. BETH (CONT'D): (SOTTO) Here. Lisa's earrings. I found them in the couch. Which, by the way, I'm having steamed tomorrow. DAVE: (SOTTO) Thanks. Before Dave can exit, Bill and Catherine exit the booth. Bill is angry. CATHERINE: Come on, Bill. I'm sorry. BILL: (TO DAVE) Would you please tell her that from now on if she needs to tell me anything, a written memo will suffice. DAVE: What is it this time? CATHERINE: Bill, I was not ignoring you at lunch. I just don't talk much while I'm eating. It doesn't mean anything. BILL: A written memo. (TO DAVE) Tell her. DAVE: Both of you shut up and get back in the booth. BILL: (BEAT) Look. You can say whatever you want to me, but you don't tell the lady to shut up. Dave shrugs and crosses to the elevators. INT. ELEVATOR FOYER - CONTINUOUS Dave enters. Lisa is holding the elevator. LISA: Come on, I'm hungry. DAVE: Me too. LISA: You know, I have some leftovers at my apartment, so we could-- Bill enters. LISA (CONT'D): -- discuss the police corruption probe story at a later date. DAVE: Good work, Lisa. I look forward to your input. BILL: Dave? Listen, I just wanted to apologize for that outburst in there. Catherine crosses through, heading towards the bathroom. CATHERINE: I've been looking for you, Bill. BILL: (POUTING) Yeah, whatever... CATHERINE: That's a nice tie. BILL: Please. Don't patronize me. CATHERINE: Whatever... Catherine exits into the bathroom. LISA: You too have a very... complex relationship, don't you? BILL: It's a nightmare. DAVE: Why is that? BILL: Well, about four years ago (SOTTO) Catherine and I... sort of... tried to have a secret little office romance. But you know how those things go. DAVE: Yeah. LISA: Oh yeah. BILL: Pure hell. Worst mistake I ever made. Ruined the entire relationship forever. Either of you ever been in one of those? DAVE: (SMOOTHING TIE) Don't be silly... LISA: (SMOOTHING HAIR) That's ridiculous. Bill exits. Dave and Lisa are staring straight ahead as the elevator doors close. Just before the doors close, they both take a worried sidelong glance at each other. FADE OUT END OF SHOW